An Intervention

Seattle? We need to talk. Now I know you like to think that we’re on the cutting-edge of all things culinary, but I’m here to tell you different. It’s important that you listen to what I have say, so that we can admit our failings, and then improve upon them.

Quite simply…Seattle’s pizza sucks.

It’s okay! Really, it is! We have the Pike Place Market, we have killer seafood, and we even have a Pacific Nortwhest Cuisine which is taking off nationally. So we have lots to be proud of.

But not our pizza.

Oh sure, our pizza is palatable, but it’s nothing memorable. Nothing on the lines of New York or Chicago. And we can do so much better.

You want proof? Let me point you to Capital Hill, a typical neighborhood here in the Emerald City.

Palermo Pizza typifies what is wrong with the pizza shops throughout the city. They use products that are canned or frozen, and then reconstituted under the hot oven. Look at the sausage they use – those small rounded balls of frozen cured pork are an insult to a city that has Uli’s Famous Sausage in Pike Place market. Look at the pepperoni – those greasy slices of cured meat would turn the stomach of those who frequent Salumi. A great pizza has it’s own identity. By using the same ingredients that other pizza shops use, then you become part of the pack of mediorce.

I can hear you say now…”But, but…PAGLIACCI’s!”

This is simply you in denial. I’m here to tell you that Pagliacci’s isn’t as good as you think it is. If I can place a paper towel ontop of their pizza and soak up several tablespoons of grease, then something is wrong. And their crust? Let me ask you this. Would you eat their crust if it didn’t have sauce and cheese on it? I didn’t think so.

Which brings me to Piecora’s. Look, I know you like to think it’s a more authentic pizza. The reality is that “New York Style” pizza is a thin-crust pizza baked between 700-800 degrees Farenheit in a coal-burning oven (although a wood buring oven will do in a pinch). Since Piecora’s bakes their pizza in a conventional oven, in a thick crust, it’s not really a New York pizza. A good New York Pizza would satisfy a Italian.

Which isn’t to say that Piecora’s is a bad pizza. In a pinch, it will do. But it could be and should be so much more than it’s chewy crusts and several layers of toppings.

Look, I know I probably upset you. I’m truly sorry I had to do that. I know you may not believe me. So take a quick poll from any of your friends from the East Coast, and you’ll find that I’m right.

I’m going to give you some time to digest what I just told you. And I hope you take it to heart, because believe it or not, I am looking out for your best interest. And once you understand that I am right, then and only then can we talk about how to make a really great pizza.

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