Egg Nog Redux

After I took a few jabs at the tradition of egg nog a few days ago, I figured I better have some basis in fact on which I could display my sardonic gen-x attitude. Because, you know, it’s the holiday season and all. Never let it be said that I am not a giver.

Over there in the picture, you see three seperate glasses of egg nog. One home made, one made for vegans (made of soy and other non animal by-products) and one store-bought brand. All have rum added to them.

It was my job to taste test all three. The things I do for science.

The results? It didn’t come close. If you like Egg Flavored cream drinks chock full o’ spirits, make your own. The soy brand tasted only slightly like egg nog, rather tasting more like nutmeg infused soy milk with a slight chemical eggy taste underneath it. The store-bought brand tasted like paste. Paste and nutmeg. Paste, nutmeg and whey powder.

And all had lots o’ rum in them. Because if your drinking egg nog, my advice is to get drunk. That way you have an excuse. “Really, I was only drinking the nog to get plastered!”

So is you must have egg nog this season, make your own. Really, it’s kinda worth it.

  • 4 eggs
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup white rum
  • 1 1/2 cups whole milk
  • 1 1/2 cups whiskey
  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • Pinch o’ nutmeg

Seperate the eggs, putting yolks in one bowl, and egg whites in another larger mixing bowl. Combine 1/4 cups of sugar with the egg yolks and mix well.

Using a beater or hand mixer, bring the egg whites to stiff peaks and slowly folks in remaining amounts of sugar. Once the sugar is fully incorporated, slowly fold in the egg yolk mixture in with the egg whites.

Slowly drizzle rum into the egg mixture, incorporating it fully into egg nog mixture. Once all the rum has been added, start pouring the milk in slowly, stirring it in carefully. After milk, add the whiskey in the same manner.

Add 1/2 cup of the heavy cream to the egg nog mixture, slowly folding it in. In a seperate bowl, pour the remaing heavy cream and beat until thickened. Pour 1/2 cup of the egg nog mixture into the whipped cream, slowly folding it into the stiffened cream. Take the whipped cream mixture and pour it into the egg nog mixture and mixing it slowly but thoroughly.

Pour egg nog mixture into pitcher of your choice, and chill for at least three hours. Ladle into cup for drinking and top with nutmeg.

And yes, this is a grown-up drink. This is what egg nog should taste like.

But it still should be only drunk once a year. Happy Holidays!

Serves 8

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