I meandered on up to Edmonds, Washington in order to partake in The Taste of Edmonds event that was being held. It was hot, stuffy, and the arts and crafts outnumbered the food vendors. This was just enough to make me a tad cranky upon arrival. But then again, macrame has been known to bring out the worst in most people.
However, it was the largest collection of food vendors I had seen on the festival circuit this summer. By this time of the year, I had become well versed in the way one should approach eating at events such as these. I had made my mistakes this year (I had found out that eating Phad Thai from a booth is a recipe for disaster, and that there are some foods that one must eat without care about how one looks), but I also had many victories (Rasberry shortcake anyone?)
The trick in approaching these festivals is to not allow your eyes to be bigger than your stomach. You will not be able to eat everything. Accept that fact and move on. But you CAN have your entree, side dish, and starch (as well as dessert) if you plan accordingly.
For example, for my entree at ‘The Taste of Edmonds’, I avoided every dish that required a fork AND knife (I mean c’mon… go to a restaurant if you need a knife…sheesh) had veal brautwurst ona tasted bun, with a homemade brown mustard that made me shriek in delight, causing several odd looks from those around me.
For my side dish, I turned down a crepe with hollandaise sauce (hollandaise sauce that had been siting out all afternoon? No thanks, I’ll pass), and had myself a philly cheesesteak. For my starch, I had a nice and taste slice of pepperoni pizza..
Oh, wait.. Did I not explain that the best way to eat at these fairs is to supply non-traditional replacements for the traditional entree-side-starch combo that we have all come to love?
I do have some other rules of thumb…I avoid french fries, because very rarely do french fries give me a siren’s song. And I avoid sugary drinks (lemonades, sodas, etc) as the sugar and heat make a poor combination.
I really do avoid foods that require knives. Food at a fair should be enjoyed whilst standing, without creating too much of a mess. This puts most foods-on-a-stick in play. Fairs are the only place one should eat corn dogs with relish, for if you’ve ever tried to eat corn dogs at home, then you’ve most likely also had the “what-the-hell-am-I-eating-THIS-for?” revelation.
But dessert? Dessert is when I let it all hang out. With options such as gourmet ice cream, to deep fried twinkies, the options available to the dessert freak is vast and cumbersome. So I partook of the chocolate coated frozen banana…on a stick.
And let me just say this…There is no delicate way of eating a frozen phallic fruit. But as I said earlie, there are some foods that one must eat without care about how one looks. After all, it could be worse. Someone could see me walking into an Applebee’s.
Now THAT would be embarassing.