How to rate a Cheeseburger

In the course of my new duties at Seattlest, I now am in search for the best cheeseburger, pizza, phad thai and Chicken teriyaki found in Seattle. This is no small task and promises to give me stuff to write about when I’m too lazy to make a recipe, or to intimidated to call up a local chef for an interview.

Below are the criteria in which I am rating cheeseburgers, on a 1-10 scale.

Bun: Is fresh or stale? Dry or Moist? Does it have a decent crust? Has it been toasted?? I can’t stress the toasted part enough.

Meat: Does it have a taste? Or has it been compromised by other items on the bun? Is it sweet? Is the meat graining or smooth? Fatty or lean? Has it been fried or grilled?

Bun/Meat Ratio: There should be equilibrium between meat and the bun. I shouldn’t taste all bun, nor should I be overwhelmed with meat.

Cheese: Does the cheese overwhelm the burger or compliment it? Can one taste the cheese? Does the cheese provide anything beside texture?

Misc: What comes on the burger? Does the wait staff ask how you would like it cooked? What kind of fries are served with it (if any)?

I tally the score, and divide the total by five. Ties will be determined by restaurant ambience and/or server.

Seattle – you have been warned.

ADDENDUM: I have discovered a new Law when it comes to ordering burgers…Let’s call the Kate’s Law of the Bacon Cheeseburger, which states: If a restaurant provides a bacon cheeseburger, but not a plain cheeseburger, odds are good that the bacon is used to mask the fact that the burger has little or no taste.

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