Kraft Singles

Do not be swayed by near future ad buys for Kraft Singles, for they are both tasteless and evil, and lower the standards for all things good about quality cheese.

Kraft is suffering from lagging growth as consumers switch to cheaper store brands, costlier gourmet-style products or more innovative offerings from competitors like ConAgra, Hormel and Procter & Gamble. To help reverse its falling fortunes, Irene B. Rosenfeld, the chief executive of Kraft Foods, is increasing the company’s huge marketing budget — estimated at $1.4 billion a year — by $300 million to $400 million.

The primary goal of the spending increase is to persuade consumers that Kraft’s venerable products can meet their changing needs. A case in point is Kraft Singles sliced cheese; Kraft will devote a campaign that begins today to the glorification of the grilled cheese sandwich.

The television, online, print and retail campaign carries the upbeat theme “Have a happy sandwich.”

If you truly want a happy sandwich, buy real cheddar. You can thank me later.


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