Only my boyfriend knows I do it, and he thinks its revolting. Every once in a while, when cooking, I’ll slip just a little pat of butter on my tongue and leave it there, letting it melt, the fatty deliciousness oozing its velvety smooth way around my mouth.
Some people have secret sex, all foodies have secret foods. They’re all embarrassing in their own way. It can be secret because everyone thinks it is disgusting (hi, eating plain butter) or because you’ll get your foodie card revoked–I’m looking at my friend who thinks that the fake orange cheese that comes on baseball game/gas station nachos is the best thing in the world. It can be secret because it is so not in your personality–the locavore who really won’t complain when you stop at McDonald’s, as long as you share your large fries with him or the vegetarian who on occasion “accidentally” eats bacon. Or it can be a secret because you were made fun of as a kid for liking tunafish on pizza so now you won’t tell anyone.
Whatever your reason, we’ve all got them. We’re all embarrassed about them, but the reality is, I’m sure there are others of you out there that sneak butter pats or can devour an entire large bag of flamin’ hot Cheetos if someone leaves them in your house. So indulge a little. The internet is (semi) anonymous, right? Leave your secret food in the comments section and let’s allow ourselves to see that we’re not that weird after all. Or, perhaps, that we are.