Supermarket foods I avoid

Typically when I go to the supermarket, I stick to the outside aisles in the store – Bakery, Dairy, Product, Meats. These are the areas that I *must* visit each time, or else I don’t feel as if I’ve done the shopping proper.

I do, on occasion, make it into the inner aisles. Unlike some people, I feel as if there are some products that are worth purchasing. However, there are some things I can never, and will never, buy.

1. Canned Peas: What the canning process does to peas is tragic. It takes a bright green, wonderfully tasting vegetable and turns it into a gray puddle of I don’t know what.

2. Mayonnaise: This might be one of those products that comes down to convenience. But fresh homemade mayo is similar only appearance to the store-bought stuff. Alas, I don’t use much mayo in my kitchen, so any I do make goes bad. So I essentially have lived a mayo-free life for the past ten years.

3. Cool Whip: I cannot stand Cool Whip, mostly on principle. I can make whipped cream in about a minute, and I make it from heavy cream, a bit of vanilla, and some baker’s sugar. Compare that to the ingredient list that makes Cool Whip. There is no time saved by buying this stuff. Please, for the love of all that is holy to you, make your own.

4. Guacamole: Again, this is a product that is always, always, always better when you make it yourself. I have never run into any store-bought guacamole that’s worth a damn.

5. Any fried foods at their deli counter: Perhaps somewhere in this great country of ours, there is a supermarket deli counter with an actual deep-fryer in the back and does enough business to allow their corndogs/buffalo wings/springrolls to be sold nearly immediately after it came out of the fryer. But I have yet to come across one. Most of the time their hot counters look like the food has sat under the heating lamps for hours. And does anyone really think “Hmmm…I’d like some hot wings. Let’s go to Safeway!”

6. Wonder Bread: Simply horrible. A blaspheme against bread. More akin to an edible sponge. I can’t remember the last time I have purchased sliced bread.

7. Pre-made mashed potatoes: Are we really that lazy?

8. Processed sliced cheese that come individually wrapped: My hatred for Kraft Singles and those of similar ilk is well documented, mostly due to the fact that the purveyors of these products insist on calling it cheese. To me, that’s like calling a mule a horse. It is cheese-ish in nature, but that’s not the same thing as calling it cheese. If one must have processed cheese, at least buy the blocks of cheddar or Monterey Jack which at least has some semblance of flavor.