Accidental Hedonist

Some may see this as a little story, but I’m not one of them.

Every few years, major contracts are hammered out that state which companies can provide food or beverages at major events throughout the country. Everything from hockey games to state fairs negotiate and sell rights to companies to have their products sold at these events. It should surprise no one that representatives from Coca-Cola and Pepsi are almost always involved, and it’s almost impossible to find any sodas other than one represented by these two companies being sold at concert venues, sporting arenas or even major high schools.

So when the Seattle Seahawks announced yesterday that neither Coke nor Pepsi will be sold at their stadium, it’s a big deal, especially for a higher profile team in a very high profile sports league. In their place comes relative newcomer and Seattle institution Jones Soda (the folks who sell the Turkey Flavor sodas around the holidays).

Jones is not new to event sponsorship, having been part of the skater culture for the past several years and being the “official soda” of several events. But getting a part of the NFL pie puts them onto a new level.

But the reason I really like this deal is that it may be a step back to food regionalism. Seeing Coke and Pepsi, as well as Budweiser, Starbucks, McDonalds, et al, being sold throughout the country homogenizes our culture. I don’t think that this is a good thing.

I’m of the belief that having regional diversity in our national marketplace is a very good thing. My thinking may be a bit “pie in the sky” but regional diversity can be a way of promoting civic pride. All you need to do is get a person from Kansas City and a person from Texas to talk about barbecue to understand that. Heck, thick about what Rolling Rock Beer meant to the folks in Western Pennsylvania before Anheuser-Busch bought them out.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, dreaming my Utopian dreams. Congratulations to Jones Soda, for pulling off a major coup.

Jones Soda, found right in the heart of my hometown, is trumpeting their release of 12 ounce canned soda sweetened with Pure Cane Sugar instead of High Fructose Corn Syrup.

The stupid thing said was uttered by Peter van Stolk.

Converting from HFCS to Pure Cane Sugar with our new our 12 ounce can line truly differentiates Jones and provides the consumer with a healthier alternative.

For a bit of context, let me make the following statement: Hitting your thumb with a hammer eleven times is healthier than hitting your thumb a dozen times.

Mr. van Stolk, while I’m a fan of your company and applaud you for going for the better tasting cane sugar in place of the government subsidized corn syrup, you are in fact still selling sugar laden soda and not a vitamin-enriched weight loss supplement that also cures the flu. There isn’t anything healthy about Jones soda.

But thanks for providing me a decent laugh this morning.

UPDATE: Mr. van Stolk mentions in the comments (no, really) that

…what I said was “pure cane sugar is a healthier alternative to HFCS”. If you think that is stupid, I am ok with that.

Upon reflection his quote is not stupid per se, but perhaps a bit presumptuous. And for the record, I had made the same presumption. But the fact remains that there has been no scientific study that has said that cane sugar is better for a person than HFCS. Lord knows I’ve tried to find one.

Marion Nestle, the food nutritionist and writer of such books as “Food Politics” and “What to eat” has stated that she could draw no distinction between cane sugar and HFCS. In her eyes, a sugar is a sugar, and neither items was one worth indulging in excessively.

Here’s a little love goin’ out to a Seattle based company.

In the picture, you’ll see this year’s version of Jones Soda Holiday Pack. This is a continuation of their annual holiday promotion that has been so successful that they’ve created two seperate production releases:

• A national release containing sodas flavored like Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry Sauce, Turkey & Gravy, Wild Herb Stuffing, or Pumpkin Pie.
• A regional release with sodas flavored like Broccoli Casserole, Smoked Salmon Paté , Turkey & Gravy, Corn on the Cob, and Pecan Pie.

I had purchased the Regional release and had set my sights on creating a witty, whimsical post for Thanksgiving day. Tara and I took a drink from each flavor (and yes, broccoli casserole soda is as nasty as you might expect it to be), and I took notes like a good reviewer should.

Then the blazing hammer of common sense smacked me on the head. Jones Soda doesn’t give one rat’s tuckus on what I have to say about these flavors. What I found myself participating in, even now, is possibly the best marketing campaign in the past two decades, if not longer.

Here we have Jones Soda, selling several horrible, horrible products — So horrific that people can’t help but notice, and in many cases, willingly taste these drinks. All the while, the phrase “Jones Soda” is repeated on the lips of people throughout the land.

There’s also something to be said about those of us who drink these concoctions. How does one rationalize drinking a bottle of Salmon Pate Soda? Probably the same way the one rationalizes eating Rocky Mountain Oysters or Silkworm Pupas.

Kudos to Jones Soda — the only company that intentionally sells crappy sodas which consumers willingly drink, and then gets everyone to talk about them. It takes a bit of genius to accomplish that.

Conversely, Coca-Cola unintentionally sells crappy sodas which consumers willingly drink.

It’s a funny world, I tell ya’.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink, Jones Soda, Soda, Marketing