Accidental Hedonist

I’m fairly sure that the phrase of this post has rarely been uttered. But it sort of rolls off of the tongue, does it not?

At any rate, vegetarian haggis does exist, found here, and forwarded to me by my future travel-in-crime partner Krysta.

This would be an opportune moment to bring up my ever more hackneyed disbelief of meat-like vegetarian dishes. Logically, I get it. Tastes and desires dictate the need for certain dishes to exist, a statement even more true in the vegetarian world. This is an educated guess, to be sure, but it seems logically consistent.

Emotionally though, I always have problems with dishes like these. Because if your body or mind is telling you that you desire the flavor of sheep’s hearts, livers, lungs, that has been minced with onion, oatmeal, and suet, then a large part of me believes that your body isn’t buying the whole vegetarian program.

I love this recent story in the New York Times:

“It’s the same thing as top-shelf liquor,ˮ said Nick Guffey, 28, a massage therapist with an ink-black shag haircut, referring to drinks like his red-wine-and-poached-pear organic cocktail. “You can drink a ton and not wake up with a hangover.ˮ

Ellen Pugliese, 24, a publicist friend next to him, agreed. “It’s better than drinking soda or something with syrup,ˮ she said.

Ayn Teigman, 24, a legal assistant, went further. “I drank my dinner a couple of times. I’m kind of proud of that,ˮ she said, rattling off a few of the fresh ingredients she has used, like pomegranate and strawberries. “And muddled cucumber,ˮ she added. “That’s a vegetable, right?ˮ

In an era of “naturalˮ cigarettes, trans-fat-free chips and low-carb beer, it is probably no surprise that that last guilty pleasure, the cocktail, is trying to atone for its sins. And it isn’t just vegan restaurants serving more vitamin-rich vodka mixes and slinging vegetable gardens in a glass.

I love this story because…well, hol’ on…let me check my notes -

Oh yeah. Alcohol is a POISON. It’s an inefficient and oftentimes delicious poison to be sure, but a poison nonetheless. Trying to make it healthy is akin to add vitamins to a cigarette. And I say this as a huge proponent of the stuff.

Okay, perhaps I overstate a little. But c’mon, being proud of yourself because you had a cucumber in your drink is a silly rationalization. Because if we follow this logic to its conclusion, one could surmise that martini drinkers are the healthiest of folks out there.

Now if one wants to drink with quality , or even “ethical” ingredients, that’s a different argument. But please don’t tell me about how you drank your dinner and expect me to applaud your “good healthy choices”.

Thanks to Jack over at Fork & Bottle

In reading an article about the growth of the vegetarian food market, I came across this tidbit:

On the negative side, the number of vegetarians in the population has been in decline since 1999, after peaking in 1997. Nevertheless, continued growth in vegetarian foods sales supports the fact that the market has become more mainstream with maturity, with such foods purchased and eaten by many people who would not describe themselves particularly as being vegetarian. They might see themselves as meat reducers, or might be seeking healthier and more varied diets. Vegetarian foods are claimed to be lower in saturated fat, and contain higher levels of dietary fibre, minerals and vitamins.

This shocked me a bit, though I couldn’t find the source of their claim. Is this true? I don’t think that this is that big of a deal, because certainly vegetarianism isn’t going away, but I’m wondering about the why of the decline.

Ya gotta love this headline from the BBC:
High IQ link to being vegetarian
As if some vegetarians aren’t already insufferable enough, now we have to deal with this? I kid, I kid.
So let’s look at the numbers here…

Men who were vegetarian had an IQ score of 106, compared with 101 for non-vegetarians; while female vegetarians averaged 104, compared with 99 for non-vegetarians.

That’s a swing of a whole 5 points. That’s probably just enough of a swing that allows a person to realize that choices in eating have long term ramifications.
My guess? Becoming vegetarian doesn’t make you more intelligent. Rather than being intelligent allows a person to make vegetarianism a lifestyle choice. In other words vegetarians were already intelligent even before becoming vegetarians.
My favorite part of the article?

Twenty years after the IQ tests were carried out in 1970, 366 of the participants said they were vegetarian – although more than 100 reported eating either fish or chicken.

I guess this means that these 100 people who called themselves vegetarians yet still ate fish and/or chicken would be at the lower end of the IQ scale? Because apparently that swing of five IQ points wasn’t enough of an uptick in their smarts to make them realize that eating chicken and fish makes a person an omnivore, not a vegetarian.
Technorati Tags: Vegetarianism, vegetarians

Megnut has an excellent post up today about her philosophy surrounding food, both before and after reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma. It’s a great read from start to finish, but I wanted to focus on one specific item…

This leads to what angers me about the recent foie gras bans, PETA, and animal rights activists in general. First, there’s the assumption you must be eating meat because you’re ignorant of where it comes from.

I cannot agree with her more on this point. On several of my more “meat-centric” posts, invariably someone will either comment on this site or another that I haven’t given my meat choices much thought.

Think about that for a moment…because my opinion differs from their own, apparently I haven’t taken the appropriate amount of time/effort/care in coming to my own conclusions. And it’s not just me, but anyone who still makes a choice to eat meat.

This is one of the reasons why it’s difficult for me to take vegetarians seriously. And when I say “vegetarians”, I mean the 4% who feel the need to vocally judge opposing choices based on “their” criteria, when in fact the criteria of judgements vary from person to person, and culture to culture.

Vegetarianism is a perfectly acceptable choice when it comes to diet. But it’s not a choice for everyone. It’s too bad that there are some vegetarians out there who don’t understand that.

Technorati Tags: Food, Vegetarianism

I have incurred the wrath of a handful of vegetarians. Apparently my take on horse meat and my recent comments surrounding the Fried Tofu disguised as a fried egg have been seen by a few as a shot across their bow, and a few have left several interesting messages in my e-mail inbox, one of which exclaimed how I was going to die in a fit of “contorted heart spasms caused by the choking of (my) arteries from an excessive amounts of cholesterol”.

Now I have a great fondness for many vegetarians…especially when they’re braised in a garlic butter sauce and served with a nice Viognier *ba DUM dum*.

I kid, I kid. I would never eat a vegetarian…too gamey. *ba DUM dum*

Thank you, thank you. I’m here all week. Enjoy the veal chops!

…ahem.

Seriously though, I know that a great majority of vegetarians follow the same basic principles that I do – I’ll keep my nose out of your personal choices if you keep your nose out of mine. But I don’t understand that small percentage of vegetarians/vegans who feel as if it’s their right to tell people what to think …about…uh… food…

Okay, so that probably wasn’t the best tact to take against these folks.

I’m not quite sure what response these folks are trying to elicit from meat eaters when they act the way they do. Do they want me to admit that animals have died for my desires? Do they wish for me to realize that I could live longer if I ate nothing but fruits and veggies? Well done and done. I could stand to eat more grains and veggies, and I acknowledge my actions cause the death of plants and animals. If it’s any consolation, once I leave this mortal coil, I will gladly donate my body to the local zoo so that the lions can have a good meal. Would this balance the scales?

I think what rankles me the most is that I get no credit for the fruits and vegetables that I do eat. Sure I indulge in veal, or chicken or scallops. But not one vegetarian has ever thanked me for the lima beans or brussel sprouts that I’ve consumed. No one has ever patted me on the back and said “Thank you Kate, for eating cabbage”. I am an omnivore after all. Does that mean, by these folks standards, that 65 – 75% of me is A-okay?

What if I did become a vegetarian, but my motivations were wrong? What if I wanted to see all plants suffer at my hand as I pull them from their comfy abodes when they’re snug in the ground. What if I watched an ear of corn boil, hoping upon hope to see their last sign of life. Would that make me a bad vegetarian?

In all seriousness, I don’t know the proper response that these small few are looking for. In the past when I hung out with various artists and poets, I’ve done the passive-aggressive nod-my-head-in-sympathy-to-their-cause response, and I’ve done the ignoring. Should that be enough?

In the end it doesn’t matter. I’m still going to eat my bacon and they’re going to eat their not-bacon. And everytime someone tries to convince me of the solemnity of their cause, I’m going to hear the voice of H.L. Mencken in my head.

Men always try to make virtues of their weaknesses. Fear of death and fear of life both become piety.

Technorati Tags: Food, Vegetarians, Food Politics

Remember last week when I mentioned that McDonald’s recent revelations that their fries had gluten (until recently) may not be a big deal, unless someone can prove that the Golden Arches advertised the fries as gluten-free?

Well as it turns out, yes someone can prove that the Golden Arches stated that the fries are gluten free…and yes they are suing for damages.

All of those who are surprised, please raise your hands.

I did have a “M-wuh?!?” moment when reading this bit of the article:

On Wednesday, Nadia Sugich of Los Angeles sued McDonald’s, saying she is a vegan and would not have eaten the fries if she had known they contained dairy products.

A vegan…at McDonald’s. Riiiiiight. Nadia isn’t perhaps looking for a quick payday, is she?

Personally, I have a hard time feeling sorry for any vegan who eats at McDonald’s. I’m not saying they shouldn’t eat there, but really. A vegan eating at McDonald’s is like an American visiting Moscow and then complaining that everyone there speaks Russian.

UPDATE: It seems as if McDonald’s is claiming that, in fact, their fries ARE gluten and Allergen free.

Cause — meet effect.

Ken at Fast Food News has it exactly right: either someone is trying to cover their collective buttocks by clouding the issue regarding this, or there is a fair amount of incompetence surrounding the initial release of information last week. Either way, McDonald’s is looking both amateurish and irresponsible.

Technorati Tags: Food, McDonald’s, Fast Food, Lawsuit