Accidental Hedonist

Let me state for the record that I love Funyuns.

Oh, not for their taste. Because in relation to other snacks they rate somewhere between Frito’s and Beggin’ Strips.

No, I love Funyuns because they are the best example of American processed and marketed food that I could find in the grocery store. Here’s a snack that works so hard to be seen as onion rings. They’re shaped like onion rings. They’re given onion flavoring. Hell, even their name rhymes with “onions” – a portmanteau of “fun” and “onion” (Itself a clear sign that the copywriter who came up with the name doesn’t know the real meaning of “fun”).

And yet the Funyun is very much a corn product. five out of the first six ingredients are corn based (Corn meal, corn oil, maltodextrin, corn starch, corn flour). Part of me wonders if Frito-Lay is ashamed of Funyun’s corn heritage. Would sales be that adversely affected if they decided to call them onion flavored corn rings?

This particular bag of Funyuns is a nice twofer in the Supermarket Finds category, as these have been given a “Wasabi” flavor. Here’s a quick fact about Wasabi – even if you’ve been to a Sushi restaurant here in the States, you’ve probably haven’t had a taste of the stuff. That green stuff you find next to the pickled ginger and soy sauce most likely contains no true wasabi at all. Most are simply a powdered imitation made from horseradish, mustard seed, and green food coloring.

Which means that the artificial onion rings have been given an artificial flavor based off an artificial taste that most people have never had. Wasabi Funyuns are the perfect Post Modern treat!

• 2 egg yolks
• 1 1/2 tablespoons wasabi powder
• 1 pinch white pepper
• 2 teaspoons lemon juice
• 1 cup safflower oil

In a bowl, combine eggs yolks, wasbi powder and pepper, and one half of the lemon juice. Stir for until salt and pepper are combined into eggs. Place mixture into electric mixer or blender and mix (using the pulse feature if you are using a blender).

Slowly add oil, one tablespoon at a time, waiting until the oil is combined with the egg yolks before adding the next tablespoon.

When the mixture has thickened to the point where it appears like a loose custard, the emulsion has been established and you can add the rest of the oil in a steady stream. Do not, I repeat, do not add oil all at once.